At the start of each day,
Greet the sun.
Give it salutation
And the renewed promise you’ll blow it up
Just as soon as that fusion bomb is ready.
Take time every day,
Even if it’s just a brief moment,
and enjoy the sensation.
You never know when the nerve gas canisters
You installed in the vents
Will kick in and rob you of the opportunity
Ignore the passage of time.
What will be,
In the fulsomeness of time.
You are on no one else’s schedule.
Your doomsday device
Will be ready when it’s ready.
At the end of each day,
Give thanks to those
Who toil in your name
For your glory,
The ones who will die
As cannon fodder
When the hero bursts in, guns blazing,
Determined to end your reign of terror.
Hey, folks! I’m all finished getting the fourth book of the Hazzard Pay series, Crooked Halos, set up! That means it’s time to get it out there. Here’s the synopsis/back cover blurb for the book:
In Arcadia, no one is innocent. This is true even for Dresden Crowder, Eddie Hazzard’s old partner from his days on the Arcadia police force. While the city considers Crowder to be a hero who sacrificed his health and well-being for the sake of the city, Hazzard knows better: Crowder was a crooked cop who framed Eddie and got him kicked off the force.
Now, Crowder is suddenly back in town with murder on his mind and a patsy to frame. Three guesses as to who the patsy will be. Hazzard has to save Crowder’s would-be victim—who actually wants to be murdered—salvage his own tarnished reputation, and survive against a whole host of villains, all while trying to shut down organized crime once and for all in the city. Poor odds? Little chance of success? Yup, this is definitely a case for Eddie Hazzard.
And here’s the cover:
The book will be available this Friday, August 10th! You can get it from Amazon or from a number of other fine distributors, as is your wont. The dead trees edition will be available this weekend as well, for those who still prefer to read that way.
I keep getting asked about audiobooks and when I’ll have those available. The sort answer: not unless the ebooks or physical books really take off. Audiobooks are expensive, unless you’re doing it yourself (and no one wants to hear me drone on for hours and hours, reading my stuff and being impressed with my own cleverness. Or do they? I don’t know).
But anyway: book! Buy it! I worked really hard on this one for a really long time. I think it is pretty darn good. That is all.
I’ve been quiet, but busy the past couple of weeks. Book 4 has been to the editor and returned, and I’ve made changes and corrections based on her suggestions. I’ve formatted the paperback and the ebook version, and I just ordered the cover this afternoon. What does all this mean? It means Book 4, Crooked Halos, will probably come out sometime next month!
In other news, I’ve set up all three of the other books to go wide, which means you can read them in iBooks, Nook, and a half dozen other ways now. I’ve also sent the first half of Book 5 off to my beta reader to find out if it’s horrible drivel or not.
Long story short, there’s lots going on, and I’ll do my best to keep everyone updated.
While I’m entering the home stretch with the rewrite of Book 4, I’ve decided I want to spend the month of July doing something a little different. So, every day for the month of July, I’m going to write a song or a poem. I’ll probably share a few of them here as we go along.
By the end of the day (I’m writing this on Wednesday, May 30), I’m hoping to have about 20,000 words on Book 4 written, almost all of them brand-spankin’ new. There’s at least another five or six thousand to write after that before I can start working old material back into the story, fixing inconsistencies and continuity issues as I go along and making sure it all makes sense in the end.
The choice to ditch the first 20K seemed like madness when I decided to do it a few weeks ago, but in hindsight it’s been the best choice I could have made. That initial sequence–a massive flashback about Hazzard’s first case as a police officer–was draggy and slow and far too police procedurally for my tastes. It felt far too generic and lacked the fun inner monologue that (I like to think, anyway) Hazzard stories have. I’m still going to have that story in the final book, in a way: Hazzard will give a much briefer, more concise version of it as his present self, so we’ll get more of his snark and all that. It’ll be five or six thousand words all-told, not 20,000. That’s opened things up for more action and less sitting around talking about warrants and proper police procedures.
Probably not going to be done by the end of the week, unfortunately. There’s just too much still to write and not enough hours in the day. But maybe by next week? Hope springs eternal.
I should probably get off here and get back to writing the actual book, huh? Yeah, that sounds like a good choice.
After the debacle of all the mysterious KENP page reads, I’ve decided to “go wide,” as they say.
What does that mean? Well, up till now, I’ve only distributed my books through Amazon. They’re the biggest kid on the block, of course, and it’s really easy to sell books through the site. But my experience with the Kindle Unlimited nonsense has me thinking it’s time to give some other sites a shot.
To that end, I’ve started setting up my books in Draft 2 Digital, a platform that sets up your ebooks through a variety of distributors (including Amazon, if you so choose). Right now, the only book that’s available through multiple platforms is Death Comes Calling, because I never enrolled it in KU. The other two books will be available through multiple platforms in mid-July, when their KU enrollment period ends.
What does all this mean for you? Well, it means if you prefer reading your ebooks through iBooks or Nook or Kobo or whatever, you can totally do that! There’ll still be print versions of the books available through Amazon/Createspace, and you can still get the books for Kindle. They just won’t be available through KU. I’m just a little too gun shy after everything that’s happened.
Speaking of future books, I’m hard at work doing the rewrite of book 4. I’m still hoping to have it done by the end of the month so I can send it off to my editor. I’ve got about 10K written, and there’s at least 30-35K from the previous draft I can use and at least another 10-15K left to add. This might end up as my longest novel to date.
I’ve spoken before about my unironic, unabashed love of Huey Lewis and the News, haven’t I? Spoiler: yes, I have, at that post from my comic blog I just linked.
As I said there, Huey Lewis and the News are the epitome of dad rock. As a kid, I had the cassette tapes for Sports, Fore, and Small World. That is at least two more Huey Lewis cassettes that anyone who wasn’t directly related to Huey Lewis (or some other member of the band) owned. But, thanks to the power of Apple Music and the nigh-endless catalog of available albums on iTunes, I’ve gone back and started listening to other Huey Lewis records.
And let me tell you, sticking to Sports and Fore is…maybe not the worst idea.
Their self-titled debut almost doesn’t sound like the same band. Most of the elements of a Huey Lewis and the News album are already present from the very beginning–Lewis’s voice, spiky guitar, the occasional harmonica solo, and even a bit of that organ sound–but it feels considerably less polished than later albums. That’s no surprise, really, as debut albums often still find the band searching for its footing. None of the songs are particularly memorable, none of the hooks are as catchy or insistent as what you’d find on their later albums.
Their second album, 1982’s Picture This, feels more like Huey Lewis and the News. There are a couple of songs–especially “Workin’ for a Livin'” and “Do You Believe in Love” that sound more like them. The organ’s become more prominent, the harmonies are stronger, and they don’t just sound like a competent bar band anymore. Lewis has constructed the rough scaffold for his Everyman lyrical character. His insights are sharper, his vocals more assured, than anything on the self-titled.
Of course, from there it goes on to Sports, and we all know about that one.
Fore is stronger than I remember. I like a lot of the songs on this one, and remembered them from my childhood as I listened through them. It suffers from a weak second half like Sports does, but the songs aren’t bad so much as just a bit forgettable.
I haven’t moved past Fore yet. Small World is up next, and I’ll admit I’m kind of afraid. I remember liking the album when I was a kid, but I also liked New Kids on the Block when I was a kid. The point is that Childhood Charlie was kinda dumb sometimes and liked bad things. I haven’t ever heard anything past Small World, ’cause I kinda lost interest in the band by the ’90s, so I guess I’ll probably have to give those a try as well.
Writers are full of advice for one another. “Write every day,” some of them say. “The first draft is you telling the story to yourself.” “Kill your darlings.”
Kill your darlings.
It’s a simple idea: you can’t be afraid to cut stuff you really like if it doesn’t fit. Even if it’s the best scene you’ve ever written, with dialogue crafted into perfect prose, if it doesn’t fit in the book, you have to cut it.
Now, most authors will keep scraps and bits they’ve cut like this in case they find somewhere to put it later on down the road. Just because this particular scene doesn’t work in this book doesn’t mean it won’t work in another book. Your darling may still see the light of day.
And then there’s what I’m experiencing. I’ve been going through book 4, giving it a once-over before sending it off to my editor at the end of the month. And…
…and dear lord, the first third of the book is just dead boring. It’s flat, lifeless, and doesn’t really do much besides move the proverbial pieces around the board, getting them in place for when things do start to pick up. It bored me when I was reading through it. I hated it. It plodded in the worst possible way.
So I cut it. All 20,000 words of it. A full third of the book, just gone.
Am I insane? Couldn’t I have just worked on it, made what was there more interesting? I mean, I’d already invested all this time and effort and energy into the thing.
But no, you gotta kill your darlings, even if they’re not quite as darling as you’d like. You can’t be afraid to put massive swathes of your book on the chopping block if they just don’t work. And this 20,000 words just did. Not. Work.
I’m going to try to rewrite that chunk of book over the next couple of weeks. I’d still like to hit my (self-imposed) deadline to get the book off to the editor by the beginning of June. I spent a bit of time yesterday plotting out what I’ll do in the rewrite. It has me far more excited than what I had originally.
This book has been the most challenging for me to write. It was the second Hazzard novel I ever wrote, way back in, like, 2013, and it’s now on its third major draft (where I’ve rewritten massive chunks, not just little tweaks here and there). This damn book is my problem child, but it’s gonna get written.
Even if I have to kill half of it in the process.
**FINAL UPDATE: Thanks to the hard work of indie author Marie Force and her Indie Author Support Network, my Kindle Direct Publishing account has been reinstated! I cannot thank her enough for her help, and I highly recommend other indie authors join the Indie Author Support Network, one of the best advocacy groups for independent authors out there.**
Over the past couple of months, I’ve been dealing with a behind the scenes problem that has me just this side of pulling all my hair out.
In early March, I saw a sudden, inexpiable spike in page reads through Kindle Unlimited. Kindle Unlimited (KU) is a program you can enroll your Amazon Kindle ebook in that allows people to “borrow” the ebook. For a flat fee ($10/month, I think), you can download any books enrolled in KU at no extra cost. Authors are paid by the number of pages read, called Kindle Edition Normalized Pages (KENP). Each page read is worth a tiny fraction of a penny. Prior to this past March, I averaged between 300 and 600 KENP per month (which means, like, two people read the book that way).
Suddenly, though, I was seeing thousands of KENP each day. Within the first week of it, I was seeing upwards of 8,000 KENP per day, all for the first book in my series, The Invisible Crown.
Now, there are a few possible explanations for this. First, someone out there might’ve found my book and recommended it on a big blog or YouTube channel or something. One of my AMS ads might’ve suddenly started working. Maybe Oprah added it to her book club. None of those were what was happening, though. I used by best Google Fu to search up anything that might explain why hundreds of people were suddenly reading my book. I came up with absolutely nothing.
When I mentioned it to a writing group I belong to on Facebook, a less-than-positive possibility was brought up immediately: click farmers.
See, there are people out there who want to scam the system. They pay someone a bit of money to set up a bunch of bots to read a book on KU, giving them tens of thousands of page reads and helping them rake in the cash.
Occasionally, to throw Amazon off the scent, these click farmers will throw some attention at a book that didn’t ask for it. That’s what probably happened to me.
I did the right thing: I emailed Amazon and let them know what was going on, that I had done nothing to bring on these illegitimate page reads and asked politely that Amazon didn’t do anything to punish me for the actions of someone I wasn’t affiliated with. Amazon did what I expected them to do: they stripped me of the illegitimate page reads, which was perfectly fair.
But the extra page reads kept coming, though at a slightly lower rate. Instead of 7,000 or 8,000 KENP per day, I was now seeing 2,000 to 3,000 on strong days. Amazon sent me an email telling me they were again stripping me of the illegitimate KENP page reads, which again I was totally fine with.
And then Tuesday rolled around. On Tuesday, I received an email from Amazon telling me they were freezing my Kindle Direct Publishing account due to the continued illegitimate page reads. I was pretty upset. I emailed them, letting them know I had no control over the issue and that I had done nothing to attract the illegitimate page reads. They reinstated my account Thursday evening, thankfully.
And then, Friday morning, I discovered that all of my Kindle ebooks were not showing up on Amazon.
My print books–which are done through Createspace–still appear when you search for my books, but the Kindle versions are just…gone. Checking my KDP account, all three books show as being live, which means they should be available on Amazon for purchase. But they’re not.
It’s frustrating. I’m sitting here in fear that my books won’t come back up, or that they will and then my account will be terminated because of some click farmer bot guy in Russia who decided to use me as a target to throw Amazon off their scent.
I’m working on a solution now. Book Three, Death Comes Calling, was never enrolled in KU. The other two are in it until mid-July, at which point they will no longer have to be exclusive to Amazon (a condition of using KDP Select, which is the program that puts your books in KU) and I can post the books on other sites as well. Getting out of KU will solve the illegitimate KENP problem, though it does take my books away from those folks who read things through KU. Of course, if the numbers I’ve seen are at all accurate, not many real people were actually using KU to read my books anyway.
As of early Friday afternoon, my ebooks still aren’t available on Amazon. I’m hoping the issue is resolved soon, because it’s pretty damn frustrating.
**UPDATE: My ebooks have returned! And they finally linked the ebook version of Death Comes Calling to the print version! And my KENP have dropped back down to literally zero, so I guess whoever was sending all the illegitimate reads my way got caught and shut down.**
**ANOTHER UPDATE: As of Tuesday, May 15, my KDP account has been terminated. I can’t sell my books (ebook or print) on Amazon. I’m working with some other folks to rectify the situation, but I have no idea when (or if) I’ll be able to sell stuff on Amazon again. However, if you check out the Books page above, you’ll find links to buy the book on a variety of other platforms.**
Over on Facebook, a bunch of my friends have been doing this thing where they post a series of albums that influenced them significantly. Over the course of ten days, you post ten album covers, but offer no explanation as to how or why you chose the albums you did. I just finished doing it myself, but I enjoy explaining things and going into detail about why I’ve made the choices I made. So, for your reading enjoyment, I present my ten days, ten albums, with some explanation.
1. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Damn the Torpedoes!
The first Tom Petty album I owned, and the one that I go back to time and time again. The damn thing plays like a greatest hits collection, and there’s not a bad song on there. I still think it’s the most essential Tom Petty album there is, even moreso than Full Moon Fever or Wildflowers (and I’ve already gone on at length about my love for Wildflowers).
2. The Flaming Lips, Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots
This album was my introduction to the Flaming Lips (I mean, aside from “She Don’t Use Jelly,” which everyone had heard on 90210). The first song, “Fight Test,” just floored me. The mixture of weird electronic squiggles and beeps with the acoustic guitar and Wayne Coyne’s strained, heartfelt vocals . . . I was hooked.
3. The Beatles, Rubber Soul
If you didn’t think I was going to include a Beatles album on a list like this, you haven’t been paying attention. The Beatles are the alpha and the omega, the source of everything I love about music, and Rubber Soul is their best album, if you ask me. It’s the perfect balance between their earlier, more raucous work and their later, more deliberate and formalist efforts. They made more interesting and experimental albums after this one, but they never made another album as cohesive and awesome as it.
4. Bob Dylan, Time Out of Mind
And here’s the requisite Dylan album. Time Out of Mind might seem like an odd choice–there are definitely better Dylan albums to choose from–but it’s the one that had the greatest impact on me. Discovering that he could still produce music that was this visceral and heartfelt, even as his voice broke completely and he seemed well-past his prime . . . it was inspiring. And the songs are pretty damn good, too.
5. Queen, A Night at the Opera
Queen blew my tiny little middle school mind like nothing else. The obvious epic, “Bohemian Rhapsody,” is there, but so is the biblical apocalyptica of “The Prophet’s Song” and the nasty character assassination of “Death on Two Legs (Dedicated To…).” The sheer stylistic range on display is incredible, with heavy rockers, music hall goofs, and folky acoustic numbers with soaring harmonies. God, the layered harmonies. And don’t forget Brian May’s guitar work. The album kicks ass from start to finish.
6. Pink Floyd, Meddle
This little-known Floyd album is one of my all-time favorites. The pulsing bass of opener “One of These Days,” the dreamy quality of “Fearless,” and the laid-back fun of “San Tropez” and “Seamus” make for a varied, entertaining album that doesn’t get weighed down in the concept album pretensions that most Floyd albums have to deal with. And the closer, the epic “Echoes,” with the sonar ping and murky, underwater feel…classic.
7. Jenny Lewis & the Watson Twins, Rabbit Fur Coat
I had the privilege of seeing this album performed live in its entirety last year, and it was one of the best concert experiences of my life. The harmonies are the obvious highlight, but Jenny Lewis’s lyrics and songwriting are just as sharp and incisive as they were almost 15 years ago when this album came out.
8. The National, Boxer
My introduction to the National was through a bootlegged live show right after this album came out. The show was made up almost entirely of songs from the new album, and I was intrigued so I sought Boxer out. Now, they’re one of my favorite bands, and this record is the reason why. Personal favorites include “Slow Show” and closer “Gospel,” though there’s really not a bad song on the album.
9. Bruce Springsteen, Nebraska
Until the release of the likes of Ghost of Tom Joad and Devils + Dust, Nebraska was a weird outlier for the Boss. Solo acoustic, just his voice and guitar and a harmonica with a four-track recorder: that’s pretty much all there is to Nebraska. But it’s haunting, and glorious, and full of fire and brimstone and the sort of carefully-sketched character studies that Springsteen is known for. It’s the polar opposite of what Springsteen was known for: stripped down instead of piled high with overdubs, loose and slightly sloppy instead of precision-perfect.
10. Wilco, Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
My introduction to Wilco came when I was listening to a Glen Phillips (of Toad the Wet Sprocket fame) bootleg solo acoustic show. Folks in the audience were calling out what they wanted to hear next, and some dude kept asking him to play a Wilco song. And then he threw in a reference to them in one of his own songs, and I decided to check them out. YHF blew my mind, with its mix of acoustic instrumentation, weird blips and beeps and effects, and phenomenal songwriting. The fact that this album led me to so many other amazing bands–The Minus 5 and Uncle Tupelo being the two most prominent–and also led to me finding out about the Mermaid Avenue collections (Billy Bragg and Wilco play around with old Woody Guthrie lyrics? Hell yes!) is just gravy.
I’ve been stalling out working on novel-length stuff lately, but I have been working on short stories.
I’ve always liked short stories. I enjoy being able to get in, tell a story, and get out. You don’t have to worry about setting things up for the next book in the series or building a massive, epic narrative. You can tell small, simple stories that are complete in and of themselves.
I often use short stories to experiment with themes, narrative devices, and storytelling styles. The Hazzard Pay novels have a very specific tone and style to them that doesn’t allow for me to try lots of new things from book to book, unfortunately. And while I definitely enjoy writing in Eddie Hazzard’s voice, it’s fun to try out different things sometimes, different tones and genres and narrative conventions. And since they’re experiments, if they fail? No big deal.
Anyway, I’ll probably put up one of the stories I’ve written lately here on the website in the next week or so.