Rough draft of a poem I’ve been working on, in case you were wanting a closer look at occasionally-fragile mental state.
I’m afraid of silence
Of the thoughts that bubble up, unbidden,
When I am quiet
So I surround myself with noise
Aural chaff, static to fill the void.
I’m afraid of simplicity
So I make things more complicated than they really need to be
I fill each moment with too much
As a distraction from the truth.
I’m afraid of happiness
Of what it might mean to allow myself to just be me
To just be content in my own skin
So I surround myself with things
To distract my thoughts
The ones that come in the silence
That tell me it’s okay to have simplicity
It’s okay to let myself
Once in a while.