Happy Tuesday, folks! I returned from the great wide west to my humble abode in Virginia safe and sound. And today is eldest niece Annabelle’s birthday! In her honor, all of the songs have to do with horses, ’cause that girl is equestrian.

1. Bob Dylan, “All The Tired Horses”: The kickoff to the infamous Self Portrait album doesn’t even feature any Dylan vocals. Which probably should’ve been a sign to folks, I think.
2. Moxy Fruvous, “Horseshoes”: “You keep handin’ out horseshoes/Horseshoes have gotta be tossed.”
3. America, “Horse With No Name”: Spoiler alert: you don’t have to keep riding a nameless horse. You can give it a name anytime you want. Horses don’t care. They don’t know their names.
4. Bruce Springsteen, “Silver Palomino”: According to britannica.com., a palomino is a “colour type of horse distinguished by its cream, yellow, or gold coat and white or silver mane and tail.” Which…I mean, I guess you can refer to a horse by its mane color primarily, sorta like we do with hair color, except humans aren’t completely covered in hair that gives us a much better descriptor we could use, Bruce.
5. Aerosmith, “Back In The Saddle”: If you fall out of the saddle, this song encourages you to get back up and climb back into it once more. Whereas I would say, “Bugger that for a lark, I’m gonna go have a lie down.” Because I apparently became British when I fell.
6. Counting Crows, “Another Horsedreamer’s Blues”: Why does dreaming of horses give one the blues? I do not know. Maybe it’s because they’re so expensive?
7. The Rolling Stones, “Wild Horses”: I dunno, I get the feeling wild horses would not want to be employed, let alone to drag anyone anywhere. But maybe that’s just me.
8. Soul Coughing, “16 Horses”: I have so many questions. Why is she pushing the horses? Why sixteen of them, specifically? You guys have a lot of explaining to do.
9. The Beatles, “Dig A Pony”: But not as much explaining as John Lennon has. Why do you dig a pony, John? And how? What is…is this a sex thing? Do I really even want an answer to that question?
10. Tom Waits, “Pony”: Why does he sound so sad while he sings about riding his pony? I thought these things made people happy. I don’t understand.