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Nobel Laureate Bob Dylan

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So, here’s a cool thing: Bob Dylan was announced last week as the winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature.  The prize committee cited Dylan “having created new poetic expressions within the great American song tradition.”

And hey, that’s definitely something I can get behind.  Even when he’s less than great, Dylan can still turn a phrase better than most.  I thought it might be fun to run down a list of some of my favorite Dylan lyrics, in honor of his…um, honor.

Let me ask you one question/Is your money that good?/Can it buy you forgiveness?/Do you think that it should? (Masters of War)

I mean, all of “Masters of War” is classic.  It’s one of those evergreen protest songs that they could play over footage of any war and it would feel pretty appropriate.  There’s a sneer and a condemnation in the words, a drone in the repetitive chord progression that’s relentless and unchanging.  You get the feeling Dylan fucking hates war, has always and will always hate it, and you’ll never be able to convince him it’s justified.

Voices echo/This is what salvation must be like after a while. (Visions of Johanna)

I don’t always necessarily have a lot of deep insight into a particular lyrics.  A lot of his stuff just strikes me in a funny way.  His turn of phrase is always magnificent.  There’s an almost dismissive quality to a lot of what he sings, as though he can’t be bothered to decide if what he’s singing is profound or tremendously absurd.  Maybe it’s both.  I think it’s probably both.

I’m listening to Billy Joe Shaver/And I’m reading James Joyce/Some people tell me/I got the Blood of the Lamb in my voice. (I Feel a Change Comin’ On)

Yeah, it’s latter-day Dylan, and it’s sort of a throw-away set-up to get to the payoff about “the Blood of the Lamb in [his] voice.”  But damn if that isn’t the perfect way to describe Dylan’s singing, with that broken-down throat that sounds like he was in a sand-gargling contest with Tom Waits after they both drank a fifth of scotch and smoked three packs of unfiltered cigarettes each.

Last night I danced with a stranger/But she just reminded me you were the one. (Standing in the Doorway)

Once, many years ago, I spent an entire blogpost dissecting this song (fair warning: I was 23 at the time, so I was pretty damn insufferable about…well, everything, but especially music).  There’s just something so sad and beautiful about this pair of lines, it just kills me every time.

Then she says, “I know you’re an artist, draw a picture of me.”/I said, “I would if I could but I don’t do sketches from memory.” (Highlands)

This is the song where I got the name for my webcomic site (it’s also what I called the old blogspot blog back in the day).  It’s a pretty evocative title, and the lines in the song itself are frankly pretty damn funny, when you consider the fact the subject is standing right in front of him when he says he can’t do a sketch from memory.  Another situation where I can’t really tell if it’s brilliant or absurd, so it’s probably both.

I said, “You know they refused Jesus, too”/He said, “You’re not Him” (Bob Dylan’s 115th Dream)

No one spins a weird yarn like Dylan.  The surreal imagery, the bizarre characters, the out-of-left-field interactions…it all swirls and twirls like a kaleidoscope stuffed with LSD.  And this particular lyric epitomizes the thing folks seem to forget about Dylan too often: he’s funny as hell.

But the joke was on me/There was nobody even there to bluff/I’m going back to New York City/I do believe I’ve had enough. (Just Like Tom Thumb’s Blues)

Easily one of my favorite Dylan songs to play.  It’s a twisted morality play about a place where no one has any kindness in their hearts, and the idea of returning to New York City as a place where things are better or kinder or less indifferent is sad and amazing and bizarre all at once.

You got a lotta nerve/To say you are my friend/When I was down you just stood there grinning. (Positively 4th Street)

The ultimate kiss-off song.  Dylan is full of vitriol and bile, snarling the lyrics to an old flame.  You almost feel bad for the subject of the song.

And I know no one can sing the blues /Like Blind Willie McTell. (Blind Willie McTell)

A simple song with just voice, piano, and an acoustic guitar (played by Mark Knopfler of the Dire Straits), borrowing the tune of the old blues standard “St. James Infirmary” and acting as a history of race relations and slavery in America.  A blues song about the blues.  A lament that one does not fully possess the capability to express what is in the heart.  No one can sing the blues like Blind Willie McTell, but Dylan comes damn close in this song.

They say prayer has the power to heal/So pray for me, mother /In the human heart an evil spirit can dwell /I am trying to love my neighbor and do good unto others /But oh, mother, things ain’t going well. (Ain’t Talkin’)

Dylan famously went through a born-again Christian phase in the late ’70s/early ’80s, and while those albums weren’t the greatest, he’s managed to put the biblical imagery to better and more effective use since then.  This is a perfect example: referencing the power of prayer, the Golden Rule, and the struggle to be who you’re supposed to be.

So, that’s ten of my favorite bits of Dylan lyrics.  What’re your favorites?

“Watered-Down Love”: Dylan’s Born Again Albums, Reconsidered

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Bob Dylan went Born-Again Christian in 1979, and decided that his music would follow suit.  For three albums, he pursued his new Lord and Savior through his songs.  Then, rather abruptly, Dylan went back to…well, to being Dylan with the 1983 album Infidels, and the whole business of those three albums was just kinda dropped.  The accepted wisdom – and my feelings on the matter when I first heard these three albums back in graduate school – is that Dylan’s Born Again phase yielded pretty bad music.  For albums built around the theme of a newfound faith, they feel oddly dispassionate, uninspired, and bland.  And Dylan’s lyrics?  Mundane, straightforward in a way Dylan never was, and boring.  These three albums – Slow Train Coming, Saved, and Shot of Love – rank as some of the worst in Dylan’s long and varied career.

But how much of that poor reputation is deserved?  Are the albums as bad as we’re told they are?  Again, I didn’t care for them when I first heard them almost a decade ago, but I did go in with the pre-formed opinion that they were going to suck.  Maybe I – we – have been too harsh.  I mean, on paper, these albums should be great: Dylan is writing about his faith, which should lead to inspired lyrics.  And heck, Slow Train Coming has guitar work by Mark Knopfler (of the Dire Straits).  This should be a knock-out home run combo, right?

Let’s take it album by album, see how they stand up thirty-six years later.

slowtraincomingSlow Train Coming (1979): The first of the trio, and widely considered the strongest.  The album opens well with “Gotta Serve Somebody,” a song that’s solid-enough to be a legitimate part of the Dylan canon even now.  That’s followed by “Precious Angel,” a song with pretty great instrumentation and some of the blandest lyrics imaginable.  Dylan sounds bored while singing, like he can’t be bothered to try.  There’s no conviction to it.  “I Believe in You” Has the same problem (in addition to some pretty strangled, strained vocal efforts by Bob) and an uninspired instrumental piece.  Things are not looking good for the album.  Things pick back up, though, with “Slow Train,” where Dylan’s lyrics are more circumspect and he sings them with more conviction.  Knopfler’s guitar work doesn’t hurt, either.  It kinda sags in the back half, though “Man Gave Names to All the Animals” is fun and relaxed.  The album ends with “When He Returns,” a slow piano-led paean to Jesus that just drags out for a every second of almost four-and-a-half-minute run time.  On the whole, not a classic album, but pretty solid.  Three of the nine songs are pretty great, which isn’t the best ratio but it’s better than nothing.

bob_dylan_-_savedSaved (1980): Saved opens with a mostly-acapella rendition of the old spiritual “Satisfied Mind,” which is pretty awesome.  It’s followed by the title track, which plays out like a tent revival gospel sing-along.  “Covenant Woman” isn’t bad; a middling Dylan song that veers a little deeper into schmaltz than you’d like, but is still likable enough.  “What Can I Do For You?” feels like Dylan doing a Dylan impression, right down to the harmonica solos.  “Solid Rock” picks up the pace a bit, which is appreciated, and almost feels like a Tom Petty song.  “Pressing On” is genuinely great, a solid mixture of Dylan’s lyrical concerns and instrumentation that feels inspired, passionate, and heartfelt in a way the previous couple of songs just don’t.  It’s followed by “In the Garden,” which feels like something you might’ve heard on the 700 Club back in the day (that’s not a good thing).  “Saving Grace” has a similar tone and church organ intro.  The album ends with “Are You Ready,” which aims for slow-burn Chicago blues but just feels forced.  Overall, Saved is definitely weaker than Slow Train Coming.  The good songs aren’t as good as the best of Slow Train Coming, and it just feels pedestrian in too many places.

shotofloveShot of Love (1981): The third and final album of the Born Again Trilogy starts out strong with the title track, though it does get a bit preachy here and there.  “Heart of Mine” is a good follow-up, maintaining a solid rhythm and pretty good lyric read from Dylan.  “Property of Jesus” falls flat, feeling too much like a cookie-cutter praise song from a middling praise and worship band.  “Lenny Bruce” is just straight-up boring, and “Watered-Down Love,” despite an awesome title and concept, feels watered down and flat itself.  “The Groom’s Still Waiting at the Altar” comes out of nowhere, though, feeling like a song from a different time and a different Dylan.  It’s a shock to the system, a swift kick in the ass that electrifies.  It’s followed by the reggae-inflected “Dead Man, Dead Man,” which finds Dylan hollering and shouting like the best tent revivalist.  The album stumbles a bit with “In the Summertime” and “Trouble,” but ends strong with “Every Grain of Sand,” a song that (while kind of boring musically) draws on Christian themes in the way Dylan should’ve been doing since Slow Train Coming, honestly.  It’s heartfelt and clever and inspired, and a great way to close out the trilogy.

But how does the whole business feel, all-told?  If we look at it from a purely numbers game, we’ve got 28 songs, about 11 of which are actually pretty good.  Less than 50% there.  But quality isn’t an all-or-nothing sort of thing, and that maybe doesn’t tell the whole story.  Songs like “Dead Man, Dead Man,” “The Groom’s Still Waiting at the Altar,” and “Pressing On” are affecting, heartfelt, and just about as good as anything else Dylan put out in the 1970s of 1980s.  Shot of Love definitely comes out as my favorite of the three, and an album that I genuinely enjoy and will even put on sometimes just to listen to.  Honestly, that’s all I ever want out of music: the desire to occasionally just listen to it just because.  Yeah, I end up hitting the skip button quite a bit, but the songs I like, I really like.  I think that’s really true of all three albums: while I don’t care for most of the songs, the ones that are good remind you that Dylan could take just about anything and make an interesting song out of it.

Conveniently, in this day and age of iTunes and Spotify, you can easily just grab the individual tracks you like and consign the rest to the dustbin of history if you’d like.  I’d definitely recommend it for songs like all three of the title tracks and songs like “Dead Man, Dead Man,” “Man Gave Names to All the Animals,” and “Pressing On.”  They’re nice reminders that even Dylan at one of the nadirs of his career could still write better songs than lots of other musicians out there at their peak.

eBag!

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I got a new bag for lugging my stuff to and from work: an eBags Professional Slim Junior Laptop Bag.  I figured I’d give you guys my impressions on it, just for funsies.

First, it’s a sturdy, well-made bag.  The zippers and stitching all appear to be high quality, and it’s well-padded in all the right spots.  It had one of those across-the-chest clips connecting the shoulder straps, which I hate, but that was easy to remove.  The straps themselves sit comfortably on the shoulder and slip or slide around.  The back of the backpack has a similar cushioning/ventilation setup as most Swiss Gear backpacks, which is nice.

The bag is laid out very well.  There’s a separate, padded laptop compartment that easily holds a 15″ laptop (could probably do a 17″ laptop if you really wanted to), has a dedicated tablet pocket, and a main pocket that holds several sketchbooks/notebooks/etc.  There’s a bottle pocket on one side that can be zipped closed when not in use, and a hard-walled compartment at the bottom of the bag for your laptop’s power cable.

The bag rides well and is comfortable even over prolonged periods with a heavy laptop in it.   This particular backpack doesn’t hold as much as my old Swiss Gear backpack, but it’s more compact and convenient for school.

This bag would also be great for travel.  The shoulder straps can be disconnected and hidden away, and the bag has a slot so it can be attached to a wheeled suitcase.  There are also two handles, one at the top and one on the side, making it easy to carry even when you don’t have the shoulder straps hooked up.

There’s another compartment on the bag with mesh organizer pockets, perfect for storing headphones, writing utensils, and other odds and ends.

The bag also looks great.  I got the heathered gray, which has an orange interior that contrasts nicely.  It looks very mature, and is perfectly acceptable and appropriate for professionals who don’t want to lug around a briefcase or briefcase-style laptop bag.

My biggest complaint is the balance of the bag.  Because it has the hollow, hard-shell compartment at the bottom for your power cable, the bag ends up being top heavy and falling over easily.  You can remove the hard compartment from the bag, making the main pocket deeper if you want, but then where do you put your power cable?  But it’s a small problem, considering I usually lay the bag down and slide it under my desk while I’m at work.

Overall, I’m really pleased with the bag.  It’ll hold up well over time and it looks great.  And it’s damn comfortable to use.  The different compartments are easy to access and cleverly-designed, and you can carry everything you need and nothing you don’t.  They usually retail for around $100, but the site often has sales and coupons (I got mine for considerably less than $100).  Plus, I got a coupon when I bought the bag good for $25 towards another purchase from the site.  That’s pretty sweet.

Budget Green/Red Commander Deck Tech

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I am, as anyone who knows me is well aware, a gigantic geek.  Star Wars, Doctor Who, music, comic books, and so on.

One of my joys going back to high school is the card game Magic: The Gathering.  My friends group would sit around on the stage of the little theater and sling spells back and forth at each other.  I wasn’t the best player, nor was I the worst.

I kinda fell out of playing during college and graduate school.  Lack of players and funds made it tricky to keep up.  Fast forward about a decade, and some of my students wanted to learn to play, and I jumped at the opportunity to get back in.

I also learned about a new (to me) format: Commander, or EDH (which stands for the tremendously nerdy Elder Dragon Highland).  Apparently it’s a format almost as old as the game itself, using a legendary creature (traditionally one of the three-color legendary named dragons, but there are literally dozens of commanders in a variety of color combinations available now) to command a deck of 100 cards with no duplicates (except for basic lands).  There are some other ways in which Commander differs from a traditional game of Magic, but we’re not really going to concentrate on that.

The biggest challenge of Commander is the price tag.  Good Commanders can be pricey, and the best cards that create the best synergies with your Commander can break the bank.  I was looking at a pretty impressive Black/White Commander decklist the other day that came up around $1,700.  No, I didn’t forget a decimal in there or anything.  That’s seventeen hundred dollars.  And that’s madness to me.  Cost is always a barrier to getting into a game like Magic, but it is possible to set up a playable Commander deck for under $30.

For this deck, I tried to stick to cards that were commons.  There are a few uncommons as well, and the single rare is your Commander.  I also tried to stick to cards that were cheap as all get-out.  I used Card Kingdom for my prices; it’s the website where I tend to buy all my singles anyway.  On average, their commons cost $0.25.  The vast majority of the cards on this list cost that.  The most expensive card, amazingly, is not the Commander.  It’s Groundswell, a common that costs a whopping $0.79.

mina-and-denn-wildborn-47213-medium.jpgSo, the deck.  For the Commander, I went with Mina and Denn, Wildborn, a Red/Green 4/4 Legendary Elf Ally creature for two mana of any kind, one red, and one green.  When it’s in play, you get to play an additional land each turn.  You can also pay a red and a green and return a creature card to your hand to give another creature trample until end of turn.

There’s a couple of different synergies to play with here: first, Mina and Denn, Wildborn is an Ally creature, which gives you all sorts of Enters the Battlefield effects whenever another Ally drops.  I’ve included a dozen or so other Allies that boost and buff each other in various ways.

The other thing we can do with this Commander is give creatures trample, so I’ve included a host of big creatures and cheap pump spells to take advantage of that.  I also made sure to include some creatures that have Reach or Flying so you don’t get taken down by cheap fliers.

I also tossed in a handful of burn spells, Red’s specialty.  There’s something to be said for tossing two or three damage at a creature and removing them from the equation before having to decide how you’re going to block, or taking out a potential blocker and letting one of your creatures get through.

Finally, there’s mana ramp: spells and creatures that help you get your land out there faster so you can play your Commander and your big creatures.

Anyway, without further ado, here’s the deck list.  Again, I found everything through Card Kingdom, and – even assuming you need to buy the basic lands as well – the total cost for the deck was $27.46, a bargain.

Commander
Mina and Denn, Wildborn

Creatures (31)
Akoum Battlesinger
Beastcaller Savant
Firemantle Mage
Graypelt Hunter
Highland Berserker
Joraga Bard
Oran-Rief Survivalist
Akroan Crusader
Arbor Elf
Basking Rootwalla
Belows Lizard
Anurid Scavenger
Baloth Woodcrasher
Fangren Pathcutter
Garruk’s Packleader
Kiln Fiend
Krosan War Chief
Makindi Sliderunner
Nessian Game Warden
Terra Ravager
Archers of Qarsi
Battle Squadron
Chandra’s Spitfire
Crocanura
Deadly Recluse
Death-Hood Cobra
Destructor Dragon
Ember Weaver
Geist Trappers
Yavimaya Elder
Sakura-Tribe Elder

Sorceries (9)
Rampant Growth
Hull Breach
Explosive Vegetation
Flame Slash
Firebolt
Blessings of Nature
Arc Lightning
Jagged Lightning
Skyreaping

Instants (16)
Aspect of Hydra
Feed the Clan
Electrickery
Temur Battle Rage
Titan’s Strength
Fiery Impulse
Expedite
Titanic Growth
Giant Growth
Groundswell
Naturalize
Plummet
Barbed Lightning
Lightning Blast
Lightning Strike
Shattering Pulse

Enchantments (4)
Khalni Heart Expedition
Forced Adaptation
Snake Umbra
Fire Whip

Artifacts (6)
Swiftfoot Boots
Gruul Cluestone
Gruul Keyrune
Gruul Signet
Ring of Kalonia
Darksteel Ingot

Lands (33)
Dormant Volcano
Dwarven Ruins
Fertile Thicket
Forgotten Cave
Gruul Guildgate
Gruul Turf
Havenwood Battleground
Temple of the False God
Opal Palace
Mountain x12
Forest x12

The Beatles – Live at the Hollywood Bowl

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As with most right-thinking individuals, I love the Beatles.  I’ve been listening to them since I was a small child, sitting in the living room with my father, reverentially placing the vinyl records on the turntable and dropping the needle.  I remember that the copy my dad owned of the Hey Jude collection had a skip in “Old Brown Shoe” after second verse, where the record would get stuck in an infinite loop and you had to gently nudge the needle to continue the song.

I never really thought much about their live work.  I mean, they stopped touring in, like, ’65, focusing all their time and energy on creating some of the most revolutionary studio albums of the decade.  And yeah, audiences cheered like mad when the Lads from Liverpool took the stage, but that in and of itself was a problem: there’s the old story that they couldn’t even hear themselves playing on stage at the height of Beatlemania, and there was even a legend that they sometimes didn’t actually bother even playing, since no one could hear.  You could shake your head for the “ooooh” at the right time and drive everyone nuts.

And then this album appeared.  I have a vague awareness that it’s related to a Ron Howard film, Eight Days a Week, about the Beatles during their touring years, and I was at first a bit hesitant to grab it.  I’m a little leery of releases like this; they whiff of cash grab.  But I picked it up anyway, and I’m pretty damn glad I did.

See, the thing I forgot – the thing I’m sure a lot of people forget in the wake of the years the Beatles spent not touring and performing shows – is that these guys could tear it up.  They cut their teeth playing dive bars in Hamburg; if you think they couldn’t still cut loose and barnstorm through a set just because they got matching suits and new haircuts, you don’t know these four musicians.

What strikes me the most about this particular set – aside from the fact that the Beatles still sound like they’re just having a helluva lot of fun playing music – is how breathless it all feels.  The album is 17 tracks long, and very few of them (only four) break the three-minute mark.  The rest are all considerably shorter.  They play these familiar songs, songs we’ve heard hundreds or even thousands of times, at a breakneck pace, as if they’re trying to reach the end of the song ahead of everyone else.  And there’s not much banter or piddling around between songs: someone (usually John or Paul) introduces the next song, usually saying what album it came off of, and then it’s off to the races.  They rip through “Things We Said Today” in 2:18, the Ringo-led “Boys” in a mere 2:08.  On several occasions, John and Paul actually sound literally out of breath at the end of the song, or maybe it’s a sprint.

The song selection is about what you’d expect from 1964-era Beatles: a mix of covers (such as “Dizzy Miss Lizzie,” “Long Tall Sally,” or “Roll Over Beethoven”) and well-known singles (“A Hard Day’s Night,” “Help,” “Twist and Shout,” and “Ticket to Ride”) and a few less-obvious choices (the aforementioned “Things We Said Today” or the actually slowed-down “Baby’s In Black”).  The band themselves are in fine form: everyone’s voices sound good, though John sounds like he’s holding in a laugh for most of “Help.”  Paul’s bass is a deep, melodic rumble, Ringo is clearly pounding the hell out of those drums, and the guitar interplay between John and George feels both well-practiced and loose.  This is music that’s vital and fun, and you just can’t help but sing along.  By the end of the 17-track collection’s 40-odd minutes, you’re as breathless and exhilarated as the band.

Is Live at the Hollywood Bowl a necessary Beatles album?  No, not really.  The studio versions of all these songs are almost uniformly superior in terms of quality of recording and performance.  It’s not a bad introduction, though it’s not going to do much to explain to a neophyte or an unbeliever why the Beatles were such a thing or why Beatlemania was happening.  It is a good time, though, a fun record that creates a snapshot of the Beatles as they strained against the earlier constraints of their sound and the limitations of trying to reproduce it on the stage in a live setting.  If you have any love or appreciation for the Beatles, you’ll definitely find something here worthwhile.

Progress Notes

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Just thought I’d give you guys an update on Book #2.  I’m about halfway through the manuscript, plugging right along a few pages at a time.  There’s a couple of spots I want to go back and completely rewrite now, but I want to get through the basic edits first.

My current goal is to have Book #2 done and sent off by the end of September.  Yeah, it’s not my original goal (which was the end of July), but it still gives my editor plenty of time to go through it (the book won’t be released until next December, after all).

I’m still waiting to hear back from said editor on Book #1.  I’m starting to get anxious about it all, since the book release is only three months out (!).  I’m still not sure what the metrics are for me to consider the release a success; I guess if folks other than my parents read it, I’ll be happy.  I want to try to go to some conventions next year to try to sell it, but we’ll have to see if that’s feasible or not.

In other news, I’ve started another short story set in the Hazzard universe, only this one is told from the perspective of his always-capable assistant, Ellen Typewell.  I’m pretty excited about it, even if I don’t have the thing fully plotted just yet.  I guess we’ll see where it goes.

Kicking Television

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See the image at the top of this post? Yeah, that’s what my tv screen currently looks like. It is not supposed to look like that. It’s this tv’s version of the blue screen of death, basically.

Someday, years from now when consumer goods aren’t made with planned obsolescence built in as a feature (so, like, never), I will be able to make it through an entire summer without something needing catastrophic repairs or replacement. Last summer, the Wife’s car needed $1400 in repairs and one of the cats needed almost twice that in dental work. This summer, it’s just the tv, but it’s still a source of frustration.

That being said, did you know I have a Patreon page? It’s more set up for folks who follow the comic, but anyone can support me on it. Anyone, including you fine folks! You get rewards and stuff, I get some extra cash to support my comic and novel and music pursuits. Maybe consider it, huh? Even a dollar or two a month will add up eventually. 

Headphones

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A good pair of headphones is hard to find.

Nearly a decade ago, I got a pair of Bose earbuds (see above). They are, hands down, the best, most comfortable earbuds I’ve ever owned. They fit perfectly and sound amazing.

I’ve noticed the trend lately for earbuds to include those weird hook thingies, ostensibly to keep them in the ear better. I hate those things, mostly because they don’t fit in my ear very well and are just remarkably uncomfortable.

The upshot of all that is, the older my earbuds get, the more concerned I become a out their continued utility. They’re eventually going to break and need to be replaced. And, if rumors about the next iPhone are to be believed, I’ll probably have to upgrade to wireless earbuds. Trouble is, now they’ve all got those damned hook thingies. You can’t hardly find earbuds without them.

All I want are earbuds that sound as good as the ones I have, fit comfortably into my ears, and are wireless maybe.

So, if someone at Bose could get back to me on that, I’d appreciate it.

Imposter!

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Like so many other creative-types, I suffer from something called imposter syndrome.

It’s not a real, DSM-V disorder, mind you.  It’s just this feeling that many authors, musicians, artists, and creators have, this sense that you don’t deserve any respect or admiration for the things you create.  It’s this belief that folks are going to figure out you have no idea what you’re doing, that you’re a fraud only pretending like you know how to do this thing you’re doing.  And when they find out…well, they’ll expose you and decry you and exile you from society.

It’s a very frustrating, debilitating sensation.  It can cause you to hesitate, to consider yourself worthless (or at least worth less than you actually are), make you feel like you don’t have anything worthwhile to contribute.  It can stop you from doing the things you want to do, prevent you from putting yourself out there for fear of rejection and disgust from your audience.

Rejection may not even be the worst of it.  People hating something you’ve created is at least a reaction.  What feels worse in a way is the absence of any reaction: silence.  No one reacting one way or the other.  Feeling like you’re shouting out into an empty void, with only the echo of your own voice returning in response.  It’s a different type of rejection, one that’s harder to deal with in many ways.

I’ll probably always feel a bit like an imposter, no matter how successful I end up being in my endeavors.  It’s part of who I am.  In a way, it’s not a completely bad thing.  It pushes me to be better than I am, to work harder at my craft and learn from my mistakes.  It keeps me from becoming too complacent.  I just have to remind myself that these things I do – my writing, my songs, my comics – are for me.  The fact that some other people may also like them?  That’s just frosting on the cake.

Lazy Summer

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I’ve been pretty lazy so far this summer.  I spent the first couple of weeks of it sleeping in (or getting up, driving my wife to work, then coming back home and taking a long nap) and binge-watching several shows on Netflix.  The past couple of weeks, I’ve been driving for Uber, which has been a novel experience.

Editing has started, though it’s going slowly.  I’ve made it to page 11 (of 118) of the manuscript.  Admittedly, most of the editing for The Hidden Throne (book 2) will go pretty quick, because this book has already been through three rounds of self-editing.  It was the only novel I ended up self-publishing, after all.

I have signed contracts for THT and a short story, both of which will appear sometime next year.  So that’s pretty exciting!  It does mean I need to get on the stick with the editing.

I’ve got a month or so left before I have to report back to school for teacher inservice.  In that time, I should be able to get THT edited, and maybe get some more work done on book 5.

In the meantime, though, I have to go.  Season Three of Bojack Horseman ain’t gonna binge-watch itself!