Blockage

It’s been a couple of months since I’ve been able to sit down and actually write anything on a story. I finished a short story back in mid-June, but hadn’t been able to put the proverbial pen to paper since then. Every time I pulled up a story to work on it, I’d just stare at the cursor blinking, then get frustrated and close it all down. I’ve written a total of maybe three paragraphs since June, across a couple of stories, and while I like what I’ve written, it’s not likely to get finished anytime soon at that pace.

What happened? Why was I previously able to crank out thousands of words a day, but now I can’t even get a sentence out? I’ve hunted in my head for the answers, and I think I might have started to figure it out. I’m not happy with the answer, but knowing might help me get past it.

I think a big chunk of it is frustration with how the first book has done. Since I relaunched it as my own, self-published book, I’ve made a grand total of…1 copy. I’ve done some marketing, I’ve done a couple of promotions on Amazon, and…1 copy. Its very disheartening. I know, intellectually, that without a lot more investment in promotion and advertising, it’ll be hard to sell very many copies, but it’s still frustrating. And it’s got me in a bit of a funk. I kind of don’t want to work on writing more books right now, if there’s not going to be people reading them.

I know a lot of authors say, “Oh, I’d still write even if no one were reading them.” And, admittedly, I’ve written lots of stuff no one has ever read (my previous efforts at self-publishing a couple of years ago can attest to that). But at some point, the whole reason for writing these stories is so that someone else can read them. If it’s just for me, why spend all the money on editing and covers? Why bother?

All of this sounds very self-pitying, and I hate that. I hate the funk it’s got me in. I want to get back to enjoying writing.

But! I’m hoping writing this all down, putting it out there, will kick me in the pants and get me motivated to turn it around. Here’s hoping.

New Cover!

I posted this in the first newsletter (which you should totally sign up for) and on the Facebook page yesterday, but thought I’d share it here, too. The original cover for The Invisible Crown, while serviceable, just wasn’t doing it for me, so I commissioned a new on on fiverr.com and got what you see above. Isn’t it pretty? Isn’t it evocative? The Kindle version has already made the transition, and i should have the couple of changes to the paperback version made before the weekend is out (I hope).

So, what do you think? Do you like the new cover? I certainly do!

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Review: A Fire Under the Skin Trilogy

I was recently followed by comic book writer and novelist Victor Gischler on Twitter, and it turned out his fantasy trilogy A Fire Under the Skin was on ridiculous sale (I got all three of them for, like, $4).  The story centers around Rina Veraiin, the daughter of the Duke of Klaar, a cold and distant duchy in the kingdom of Helva.  When the duchy is overrun by foreign invaders, the Perannese (with the help of an inside traitor) and her parents are killed, Rina is spirited away from the castle and the only life she’s ever known.  On the run, she is sent to a wizard living up a mountain and given the Prime, a tattoo that runs down her back and allows her access to all sorts of magical power.  From there, Rina must seek out new tattoos to increase her powers and new allies to support her in her efforts to retake her home.

The first book, Ink Mage, focuses on that quest.  Rina makes bargains with unlikely allies, including a boozy womanizer named Brasley (the son of a local minor nobleman) and a stable boy named Alem.  Together, they find more tattoos and return to Klaar changed and ready to fight.

The second book, The Tattooed Duchess, sort of gives away the ending of the first book.  Rina and her companions were successful in their battle to retake Klaar, and things have changed for them.  Rina is now the Duchess of Klaar, facing new challenges and seeking new tattoos.  Rumblings of some greater threat are felt, and Rina must decide what is important to her and who she wants to be.

The final book of the trilogy, A Painted Goddess, finds Rina and her allies facing a full-scale invasion, the total power of the Perannese Empire, threatening to overrun the kingdom of Helva.  and Rina is forced to confront her own desire for the power of the tattoos and the fate of the kingdom.  It doesn’t help that something is killing the kingdom’s gods one by one, and Rina and her allies are somehow tied up in that business as well.

The first two books in the series were originally serialized on the Kindle, released as “Episodes” every so often.  If the books didn’t have a page labeling the beginning of each new episode, though, you’d be hard-pressed to recognize where one ended and another began.

The characters are not always easy to love.  Rina especially makes some hard, questionable choices, most often in regards to the tattoos and her pursuit of their power.  Alem seems to lack much agency, bouncing between a love for Rina and for another character, the gypsy and ink mage Mauziran.  There’s also a group of former prostitutes turned warriors, the Birds of Prey, who were consistently my favorite characters in the books.  Most of them didn’t have much “screen time,” as it were, but they were a constant presence, and it was nice to see them making their own choices and not needing rescue all the time.  I will say, while its nice that the women have plenty of agency of their own, and do most of the rescuing, Alem in particular didn’t seem to have much to recommend him beyond a pretty face and some sexual prowess.  Brasley at least

That brings me to another point.  There’s some fairly explicit sex stuff in the book.  Not really a big deal (there’s also a fair amount of cursing and bloody dismemberment, so your feelings on that sort of stuff will determine how appealing you find the book), if you’re expecting it.

Honestly, my biggest issue with the books – and this is consistent across all three novels – is that their endings feel rushed.  There’s a massive amount of build up in each novel, stage setting with armies and rival ink mages and even a god killer, and each time the enemy is dispatched in the matter of a few pages.  It just feels very abrupt, after the solid pacing of the rest of each novel.  The endings aren’t bad, per se, just rushed.

Overall, A Fire Under the Skin is a solid series.  The characters are enjoyably flawed, the magic system is pretty nifty, and the world is diverse and well-realized.  Despite abrupt endings, the books are generally well-paced and quick reads.  They’re adventure stories for adults, and they revel in that.  Definitely recommended.

If you’re interested in the trilogy, you can buy it here.

Running Out of Things to Write About

I worry sometimes that I’m running out of things to write about.

Not  in the books!  No, I’ve got enough material for the Hazzard novels to run through at least book #7, and plenty of material for short story fodder.

No, I’m talking about on here.  The blog.  What the heck should I talk about here?

I don’t want to do the usual, “Here’s what I think every writer should do,” or offer tips on how to write the perfect first page or craft the best dialogue or whatever.  Folks that wanna do that stuff?  More power to ’em.  There’s lots of new writers out there actively looking for that kind of blog post, looking for that support in getting started.  But I don’t think that I’m the best for any of that.  My usual writing method is, “Oh, this idea seems entertaining/cool.  I think I’ll jot it down and then try to build on it.”  That’s how most of the novels got started: a single scene popped into my head and wouldn’t go away until I wrote it down and then wrote down more stuff around it.

My approach to plot and dialogue is best described as, “Throw stuff at the page and see what sticks.”  There’s nothing wrong with that; I think it serves me quite well.  But that’s not exactly inspiring for other writers, is it?  “I just write stuff down until I’m done writing it down, and I think most of the words are in the right order,” does not a poster slogan make.  Though maybe…

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Nah.  That’d be silly.

Book 2 Progress Report

As the school year draws to a close, I’ve been digging into Book 2 and getting it prepped for a fall release.  My editor sent me her edits and notes a couple of weeks ago, and I’ve been going through them and making changes and corrections as needed.  In fact, I finished up just this week and have moved on to formatting.

Formatting has been a bit of a challenge.  I found the font Royal James used, so there’ll be visual consistency in the books, and I’m doing all the little, fiddly things that have to be done to make it look like a real, professional book.  Margins are set, title pages are created, and I’m messing about with the header text and page numbers now.  There are some challenges with getting everything exactly the way I want it, but I’m confident it’ll all be ready in September.

Once the formatting is done, I’ll be in a holding pattern, waiting for my artist to create the cover.  I know he has other jobs ahead of mine, so it’s going to be sometime this summer before he even begins, but once I have the cover in hand the book will basically be ready to go.  Between now and then, there’ll be a short story called “Bad Press” (anyone who got the old Hazzard Pay collection from a few years ago will be familiar with this one, though I’ve added a few new bits).

So, all in all, things are moving along well.  I feel I’ve got a much better handle on the stuff I have to do to self-publish this time around, and I think the results are going to be fantastic.  My editor was tremendously positive about the manuscript, as were my beta readers, so I’m hopeful this one will be a hit.

Envy

Well, after having the cover to my book as my phone background since November, I finally changed it earlier this week.  I tend to change phone backgrounds pretty frequently, so my dedication to the book cover background was unusual.

I switched to the image above, a sketch by the artist Nick Derington.  A quick perusal through his website – especially the sketchbook section – was pretty inspiring and impressive.  I love the guy’s art style.  Reminds me quite a bit of Chris Samnee or Darwyn Cooke.

And his stuff makes me extremely jealous.

I mean, that Batman image is a rough sketch he did with a ballpoint pen.  My finished art has never looked that good.  Never will.  Part of me is so envious of his talent.

It’s the same way with lots of authors, too.  I read their work and I’m jealous of their talent, their skill, their ability to craft a story or a character or even just a line of dialogue.  “I’ll never write anything that good,” I say to myself, discouraged and deflated.

Here’s the thing, though: everyone who does anything creative or artistic feels that way at some point.  When someone as talented and well-regarded as Neil Gaiman can still experience impostor syndrome, you know it’s a worry that weighs heavily on all of us.

So I constantly have to remind myself that someone else’s skill does not detract or reduce what I do.  I think back to a thing I heard, years ago, about music: every song is someone’s favorite.  By correlation, every book or comic must be someone’s favorite, too.  So, while there’s folks out there who absolutely love that image of Batman up there (like I do), there’s probably someone out there who prefers something I’ve drawn.  For every fan of Neil Gaiman’s American Gods, there’s someone out there who loves some other book more (maybe even my book, though I’m not so full of myself to think that’s actually true).  Hell, there’s probably even someone out there who likes the “song” (and I use that term loosely) “Revolution #9.”

Am I still jealous of Nick Derington’s skills?  God, yes.  Am I going to let that stop me from creating my own stuff?  Hell, no.

Seeking Reviews

The success of the self-published author, as many have said, is all about reviews.  We live and die by them.  The Invisible Crown is the most-reviewed book I’ve ever put out, and even it only has *checks Amazon page like he doesn’t know off the top of his head* five reviews.  I need more.

So, here’s the deal: if you’ve read and enjoyed the book, awesome!  Tell folks about it by leaving a quick review on the Amazon page.  It doesn’t have to be a gushing five-star review.  You don’t have to write paragraph after paragraph detailing your favorite bits and how your greatest sadness in life is that you don’t get to spend every waking moment of it with me (that can just be subtext).  Just a line or two saying, “I really enjoyed it, you should totally check it out if you like mysteries with snarky protagonists who drink far too much” is plenty.

And hey, if you haven’t read it yet, and happen to review books for a website?  Hit the Contact page and drop me a line, I’ll hook you up with a review copy!  Just like that?  Just like that.

I want reviews, folks!  Help a guy out!

Analytics

So, I performed a bit of an experiment over the weekend, offering up The Invisible Crown ebook for free through Amazon.  If we’re measuring success by the number of downloads, it was fairly successful (for me; for other authors, these numbers would be abysmal [side note: I always misspell “abysmal,” because I always assume it should have two “s”s in it, like “abyss.”  But it does not]).  Anyway, I thought I’d share the results and a couple of thoughts I’ve had about them.

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Oooh, but that “sales” ranking though.

First of all, totals: Over the course of the three days it was available for free, the book moved a total of 111 units.  Considering the first month and a half it was available under Royal James, it only sold a total of 9 copies, I’d say those numbers are pretty good.

But I noticed something: the drop off after the first day was steep.  On Friday, the first day the book was available for free, it was downloaded 76 times.  Saturday?  22.  By Sunday, it was barely doing double digits (13).

I’ve seen this before.  Back in the before times, when I was first self-publishing and had no idea what I was doing, I did a couple of free weekends, and they usually went the same way: lots of folks jump on it Friday, then the steep drop off through the weekend.  What it tells me is that Friday is probably the best day to do these.

It’s also made me think a bit about my price point.  When I resubmitted the book to Amazon through Kindle Direct, I left the book price where Royal James had set it.  Now, I wondering if maybe dropping it a dollar or two might be beneficial and cause more people to take a chance on it.

More than anything, I’m realizing I still need to do lots of marketing and get lots more reviews.  Maybe a couple of the folks who downloaded the book this weekend will come through?  Time will tell.

Pre-Existing

Like a lot of people, I’m frustrated, terrified, and absolutely appalled by the passage in the House of Representatives of the AHCA.  With provisions that allow state governments and employers to strip away patient protections (things like pre-existing conditions and lifetime limits) and punish people for being old or poor, it’s a nasty piece of work from top to bottom.  And the joyfulness, the smug glee the Republicans took in crafting and passing this piece of legislation, is sickening (which is a problem, given what we know about the way they’re treating health care).

Now, I currently have pretty decent health insurance through my employer, a public school system in Northern Virginia.  Assuming everything goes well, they’ll keep providing that quality coverage for the rest of my career, ensuring I get to keep taking all the medications I need to take to remain alive and stable.

Oh, what’s that?  You didn’t know that I needed medication just to live?  Well, it’s true.  I’ve diabetes, depression, and an anxiety disorder, all three of which are on the list of things from AHCA that could get me dropped from my coverage.  And if pre-existing conditions make a comeback, there is no way I’d ever be able to get on insurance again.  The medication that helps keep my diabetes in check would go away.  The medication that keeps my anxiety and depression manageable would be so far beyond my ability to pay for (it’s not available as a generic, and all the generic ones I tried didn’t work for me) that it might as well not even exist.  If I were to lose my health insurance tomorrow, I’d be dead before the next presidential election, I can almost guarantee it.

And I don’t even have it as bad as other people I know.  I have friends who suffer from Type 1 diabetes and have to be on an insulin pump.  Insulin is a tremendously expensive medicine to have to take on a daily basis, as it turns out.  Too expensive for most folks to handle paying for without the benefits of insurance.  So those friends are dead.  I have other friends who suffer from bipolar disorder.  Medication helps keep them functioning, though for some it feels like it only barely manages that.  If they have stop taking their medication because they can no longer afford it (because they’re no longer covered)…well,suicidal ideation is one of the common components of bipolar.  Some folks aren’t able to sleep because of bipolar.  If you aren’t sleeping, you will die.  That’s just how the human body works.

I could go on, but it makes me too angry to.  We are at a crossroads as a society.  If Republicans are going to insist they’re Christians, they should probably start acting more Christ-like.  Jesus went around giving away free health care, folks.  And he wasn’t too keen on the super-rich.  Maybe something for members of the House of Representatives to keep in mind.